Why Lilies?

Worry can best be defined as a chain of negative thoughts that have to do with fears about the future. Hmmm…pretty much sums it up for me, except that my chain can get really, really long, sometimes.  So long, in fact, that I can no longer carry it.  So what do we do when that happens?  Well, Jesus put it quite bluntly during his “Sermon on the Mount.”   He said: “On this account I say to YOU: Stop being anxious about YOUR souls as to what YOU will eat or what YOU will drink, or about YOUR bodies as to what YOU will wear. Does not the soul mean more than food and the body than clothing? Observe intently the birds of heaven, because they do not sow seed or reap or gather into storehouses; still YOUR heavenly Father feeds them. Are YOU not worth more than they are? Who of YOU by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span? Also, on the matter of clothing, why are YOU anxious? Take a lesson from the lilies of the field, how they are growing; they do not toil, nor do they spin; but I say to YOU that not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these. If, now, God clothes the vegetation of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much rather clothe YOU, YOU with little faith? So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to wear?’ For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing. For YOUR heavenly Father knows YOU need all these things.”  And yet, I still find myself worrying, day after day about what sufferings tomorrow may bring.  I remember a time when I used to look forward to life…it held so much promise and excitement.  I wasn’t prepared for June 3, 2008 , because on that day, in an instant, my dreams became blurry and disoriented.  And the harder I tried to keep them in focus, the more I suffered.  No, MS isn’t a “death sentence” they told me, but it is a life sentence…with no possibility of parole.  I’m stuck in this body…A body that used to be athletic and strong and normal.  And so began the worry…not  the kind of worry you experience when there’s an exam coming up, or whether or not the mortgage will get paid. But, a kind of gut-wrenching worry I didn’t know existed.  It rocked me to my core…I was devastated. The more I learned and the longer my symptoms lasted, the more afraid I became.  No one could quite understand how I felt mentally or physically.  They still don’t.  Which is why I want to write.  And  since I love writing non-fiction, biographical stories…one about me is perfect.  And in the midst of it all, everyday that I must struggle with my cross, I want to…I need to remind myself of Jesus’ take on worry.  I doubt there’ll ever be a day that I don’t worry, but I’m going to try. And that is enough.